Letter to the Editor: Amateur vandalism in Manchester
November 4, 2019
The at Frank has me so embarrassed I could cry.
Granted, we鈥檙e a small town with somewhat limited resources, but surely we can do better than to get a vandal so inept, so incredibly stupid and inefficient as to leave his/her antler behind? Why not just leave a credit card or cell phone?听Even a hoofprint? Why not a business card? One that reads: 鈥淐HIPPED ANTLER VANDALISM SERVICE: Crashes, full and partial demolitions, broken flower pots, smashed windows, splintered doors, etc. Call 1-800-00PS-C-DAZEE for free estimates.听Fully uninsured. Dissatisfaction guaranteed.鈥
Does this vandal really think he can鈥檛听 be traced?听I鈥檇 like to think that perhaps a state of inebriation, anxiety, boredom, or simple brain damage is responsible for the sheer clumsiness of the attack but in this day and age, one never knows. Stupidity has a way of becoming epidemic, you know.
Manchester could use a grocery store and a pharmacy and something to replace Pyramid but I鈥檇 like to suggest that as a public service and a matter of civic pride, we place vandalism training at or near the top of the community priorities. We absolutely must be more careful about the vandals we hire.听We deserve vandals with more discretion, who know how to vandalize efficiently without drawing attention to themselves, self-respecting vandals who go about their job with more tidiness, who don鈥檛 leave their belongings behind.
I don鈥檛 know if there such a thing as Vandal On-the-Job Training or where one might go to get it. Perhaps the Village could听hire a Master Vandal to give aspiring vandals some training at least to journeyman level so they would know enough not to leave parts of their antlers behind.
If there are fees for training or supplies, perhaps the CRC, one of the churches, or the Lions Club could help. A vandalism training drive somewhere around Christmas might also help.
I don鈥檛 know if a license is required to become a professional vandal or if there are different requirements for two-legged vs. four-legged vandals. Perhaps one of the local lawyers could look into that.
In any case, we cannot afford to ignore this threat to our community pride.
MANCHESTER, WE DESERVE BETTER VANDALS!!!
Joan Gaughan
Manchester
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